The Love of My Life
by notsure2010
Summary: The arrival and then departure of Dr. Ian causes Jane and Maura to reflect on love and each other.  Rizzles!  Rating changed to M.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: The usual disclaimer applies; I own nothing.

Chapter 1

Barging into the café with her usual abruptness, Jane strode up to the register where her mother awaited her. Angela's eyes widened when she saw the sharp look on Jane's face.

"Really, ma? Thanks a lot for butting into my business—again." Jane crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared accusingly.

"What did I do now?" Angela looked at her daughter indignantly from her position behind the counter.

Jane flopped into a chair and pointed her finger at Angela. "You snooped around at Maura's house and now I know that Ian is wanted for questioning by Interpol and Maura's mad at me for checking up on him!"

Angela huffed, "I thought you _wanted_ to find out Ian's story! Are you sure Maura's mad at you? Wouldn't she want to know that her boyfriend is a criminal?"

Jane's voice rose in pitch. "Of course I know she's mad at me! She's my best friend—I know her better than anyone else and of all people I—"

Jane paused for a split second as she realized what she was saying. She finished her sentence lamely, letting her words trail off into a near-whisper. "I would know when she's mad. Especially at me."

Jane had tipped her hand too early. She knew that her anger wasn't really directed toward her mother, or even Ian. This was about _her_, and Maura, and what they were to each other—whatever that was. And, as she ran her fingers through her hair and took a sideways glance across the counter, she could tell that her mother knew what this was about too.

But neither woman had any intention of actually admitting it.

Her voice much calmer, almost resigned, Jane spoke again. "He's not her _boyfriend_, ma, and besides I'm sure she already knows what he is. That's why she's been so secretive about him," finished Jane, shifting her body position once again and drumming her fingers on the counter, avoiding her mother's eyes.

Angela began to wipe down the counter with a towel; she was also avoiding eye contact with Jane. "Why don't you think he's her boyfriend? I mean, I know he spends the night," she said in a low voice while looking around to see if anyone was listening.

"He just . . . isn't. Sometimes people—you know, have _relationships_ that don't really, _mean_ anything. Anything _permanent_." Jane leaned one elbow on the counter again. "Besides, this is so _not_ what we are discussing. We are discussing your invasion of Maura's privacy. I could arrest you for that, you know."

Angela narrowed her eyes at her daughter and ignored the obviously insincere threat. She let out a long breath and moved so that she was directly in front of Jane. "You just seemed so upset when you were in her earlier—I wanted to do something to make you feel better. What are mothers for? I would think you would appreciate it."

"I was not upset," mumbled Jane in a flat tone.

"Janey, you looked at me with those sad, puppy-dog eyes and admitted you were jealous and felt left out. I felt bad for you!"

"Great, now my _mother_ is taking pity on me." Slumping forward yet again, she mumbled, "And I admitted nothing except that I was a little hurt."

Angela ignored her and kept right on talking. "Sweetheart, I know it hurts but even if he is a criminal I think Maura really likes this one. I think it's more than just," Angela's voice lowered to a whisper," _casual sex_."

"Ma!"

"What? I said I wasn't born yesterday!" Angela smirked while Jane rolled her eyes.

When a few uniformed officers walked up to the counter and Angela's attention was finally occupied elsewhere, Jane sat for a few moments by herself, sipping the coffee that she hadn't even noticed her mother pouring for her.

She hated to admit it, but Jane _was_ jealous of Ian, and she did feel left out. She'd hardly seen Maura in the week since he'd arrived in town and when they were together it was only because of the case they were working. And he kept sending her texts and gifts and . . . . toilet paper. Jane snorted at the memory.

"You okay?"

Jane looked up to find Angela standing across from her. The café was once again empty; in a few minutes Angela would hang up the "closed" sign and start emptying out the till.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Angela busied herself with closing tasks, watching Jane out of the corner of her eye while she tidied up. She had a feeling Jane wasn't done moping yet.

"I really don't know what she sees in him, you know," Jane suddenly spat out, throwing her arms in the air. "Just because he's some kind of famous doctor and sends her a toilet paper gift basket. Who sends someone toilet paper, anyway? If a guy sent me toilet paper I'd tell him what he should do with it."

Neither Jane nor Angela gave so much as a chuckle at the joke.

"And do you know what he fixed my toe with the other night when I went over there? Pruning shears and a toothpick! What kind of doctor does _that_? Not very professional if you ask me." Jane snorted again and took another sip of coffee. "And Maura acted so _impressed_ with him, fawning all over him and praising his technique. It's not like it's brain surgery or anything."

"How is your toe today?" Angela interjected.

"Fine, I guess," responded Jane, reluctantly. She was hardly limping at all anymore, but she didn't want to admit that. "And they're all cutesy together—always grinning at each other, flirting. It's so gross. I mean, they're adults. Do they have to act like horny teenagers?"

Finally, Angela had had enough of Jane's self-pity. She walked around the counter and sat down next to her daughter.

"Jane, before I married your father my best friend was Carla Telucci. We did everything together—went to movies, flirted with the boys, stayed up late at night talking about boys—everything. Then she met Mikey and suddenly we weren't best friends anymore. After she married him we hardly spoke for years!"

"Why are you telling me this, ma? Maura and I aren't kids or anything; we don't stay up late talking about boys. And she's definitely _not _going to marry Ian."

Angela shook her head. "I'm not saying she will. What I'm saying is that Carla and I are friends now! We both got married and eventually we became friends again. So even if you lose her as a best friend right now, it could be just . . . temporary."

"No, ma—" Jane stopped when she saw Frost poke his head in through the glass door.

"Jane—we've got a tip and Cavanaugh wants us to check it out. Are you—"

Jane quickly stood up, wiping every emotion but determination from her face. "I'll be right there," she called out, unconsciously checking the gun on her hip. Frost headed down the hall while she reached into her pocket for a hair tie. Placing it in her mouth, she used both hands to pull her hair back into a ponytail. "You'll see, ma," she mumbled before securing the tie, "You'll see, nothing is going to change. Maura is not Carla Telucci and I'm not losing my best friend to Dr. Ian."

She took two steps toward the door and then turned around. "Does my hair look okay?"

Angela smiled and almost chuckled at Jane's rapid change of mood. "It looks fine, Janey. Go catch the bad guys."

Jane strode away, pausing only slightly when she heard Angela call out after her, "And then go apologize to Maura!"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: The usual disclaimer applies. I own nothing.**

**A/N2: Thanks for the alerts and reviews on chapter 1. Now, on to chapter 2!**

Chapter 2

Jane waited until she heard the water in the shower start running before she approached Maura's bed. There were half-a-dozen pillows on top of the down comforter, and Jane wondered if Maura wanted her to change all of the pillowcases too. She glanced at the bathroom door, trying to decide if she should poke her head in and ask. Then she noticed the pile of linens that Maura had left on the dresser and counted six pillowcases. Question thus answered, Jane went to work.

Maura had insisted on removing from her sight everything that reminded her of Ian. She said it was a ritual she went through every time he left. So together they rounded up his gifts and put them in a box to be hidden in the garage. When Maura had asked her to change the linens on her bed while she took a shower, of course Jane had said yes. Jane had said yes to everything Maura had asked from the moment the doctor had opened the door with tears in her eyes. She hated seeing Maura upset, and she really would have driven her to the airport to beg Ian to stay if that's what she wanted.

Even though it would have practically killed her to do it.

Ian. Everything about the guy made her sick. She stared at the bed, knowing that Ian had slept in it with Maura, and realized that she didn't even want to touch it. Without thinking, she checked her jacket pocket for the latex gloves she used at crime scenes. Her pockets were empty though, so she took a deep breath and began stripping the bed.

While she worked, she replayed the ten minutes of conversation she and Maura had just had in her mind. Actually, she replayed only snippets of it, because she found she could hardly remember what she had said after Maura had called Ian the love of her life.

The love of her life? The rest of the conversation Jane had pretty much been on auto-pilot, reacting the way she knew she should act towards a best friend with a broken heart. Now that the shock of the conversation was over, Jane felt wounded. She knew she had no right to feel that way, but the logical part of her brain seemed to have no control over the rumbling beast in the pit of her stomach.

The beast growled even stronger when she remembered what Maura had said next. _How can you love someone, and not be able to be with them?_

Jane knew that feeling. She knew it all too well. Only in her case, it wasn't because the person she loved was on a plane to Africa.

She remembered the hug too. Of course she remembered the hug. The way Maura felt pressed into her body, breathing lightly on her neck, was not something she could ever forget, no matter how hard she tried.

It was always a struggle to pull away from Maura's soft embrace, no matter the occasion. It was like leaving the happiest place she had ever known.

And now, somehow, she had gone from that happy place to carrying an armful of Ian-scented sheets to the laundry room, holding her breath to keep from gagging.

After starting the washer, Jane returned to the kitchen. On the counter was a bottle of wine—the cheap stuff Ian had sent along with the toilet paper as an inside joke. She knew Maura planned to pour it out, so she decided to take over that task too. She found the corkscrew on the counter and opened the bottle. Placing her nose over the lip, she inhaled.

_Doesn't smell so bad_, she thought. Shrugging her shoulders, she took a drink straight from the bottle. Apparently she and Maura had different definitions of the word "cheap"; the stuff wasn't half bad. She took another gulp, and then another, before she heard Maura walking down the hall. Swallowing hastily she splashed the wine into the sink.

"Hey, Maura." Jane gave a little half smile, hoping she looked sympathetic. "Feeling better?" Jane turned her head, rinsing out the sink and licking her lips to remove any traces of the wine.

"Much better, thank you," murmured Maura after taking a deep breath. She sat down on the couch while Jane finished cleaning up. Then, in a small, hesitant voice, she asked, "Will you come and sit with me for awhile?"

Jane's head snapped up, a look of concern on her face. Maura looked so vulnerable—perhaps even more so than when she had found out her father was a notorious mob boss. That pang of hurt and jealousy mixed with concern and fear hit her again, but she shook it off.

"Of course, sweetie," she said hesitantly, furrowing her brow. She wiped her hands on a dishtowel and joined Maura on the couch, placing her arm around her friend's shoulders. Maura immediately let her head fall gently against Jane, close enough so that Jane instinctively pressed her cheek against the top of Maura's still-damp head. She rubbed small circles on Maura's shoulder as they sat in silence.

"You must think I'm awfully pathetic, acting like this over a man I barely ever see," whispered Maura, suddenly, "and making you change the sheets and everything."

"No, of course not, Maura, not at all." Surprising herself, Jane turned to press a soft kiss to Maura's forehead, and reached out to squeeze her hand. Her heart raced when she felt Maura's fingers squeeze her back.

"We've all been there—it's okay, really," Jane murmured gently.

Suddenly Maura sat up, and Jane winced at the loss of contact. Maura looked at her questioningly. "Have you felt this way before, Jane? Was there ever someone who made you feel this way?"

Jane felt panicky all of a sudden, but she forced herself to remain calm. "Sure—I mean, maybe not exactly this way, not so . . . " She trailed off, but Maura kept looking at her with those beautiful hazel eyes . . . the urge to kiss her welled up from somewhere deep inside and she had to fight it. _Keep talking, Rizzoli_.

She cleared her throat. "Guys have caused me pain before—not "love of your life" kind of pain, but still, you know, any kind of love can hurt," she finished, lamely.

Instantly she regretted the phrase, as she felt Maura tense beside her. Quickly, she tried to recover. "Once I actually _burned_ my sheets when I broke up with a guy when I was in the academy."

_Shit_, thought Jane, realizing that in her panic she had lied. She had never done any such thing.

_I really will do anything to make her feel better_, realized Jane, _even lie_. Her heart pounded at the thought, but then relaxed when Maura smiled.

"Really? Do you think I should burn my sheets? Did it make you feel better?" Maura looked at Jane anxiously.

Jane could only laugh. "No, sweetie, it really didn't make me feel any better. And my sheets weren't nearly as expensive as yours anyway."

Maura let out a breath and then leaned back into Jane's embrace once again. Still feeling like she was walking on eggshells, Jane sat silently, unsure of what to do next.

Maura didn't let the silence continue for long. "Can I ask you a question, Jane?"

"Sure," Jane said without hesitation.

"Why don't you go out more—with men, I mean. Why don't you date more?"

Jane snorted. "That is so _not_ what I thought you were going to ask." She let out a long breath, and then responded flippantly, "I don't know—why don't you ask the guys who aren't asking me out?"

Maura sat up and looked at her friend. "Do you really not know, Jane? You are an extremely attractive person and I see men looking at you all the time. If you just gave them a little encouragement, you could be dating every night of the week."

"Ugh, Maura, now you sound like my _mother_." Jane slouched against the back of the couch and folded her arms across her chest.

Maura looked slightly taken aback at Jane's response, but she recovered quickly. "No, Jane, I'm not trying to nag you or tell you that you should get married and give your mother grandchildren—I really want to understand why. You are so comfortable with yourself when you are doing your job or dealing with your family—you know what you want and you go for it. It's one of the things I admire most about you. But when it comes to your love life, you're . . . hesitant. Why do you think that is? Are you afraid of getting hurt?"

Jane felt so many emotions she was afraid her head was going to explode with the heat of it all. Maura's words echoed in her head: _extremely attractive . . . admire . . . hesitant . . . afraid_. Is this what Maura really thought of her?

It was all she could do to stammer out a few syllables. "I don't know, Maura, geez, what's with the third degree?" She ran her fingers through her hair and directed her gaze at the darkened window—anything to avoid Maura's eyes.

Maura relented. "I'm sorry—I shouldn't be so nosy . . . I just . . ."

Instantly, Jane felt horribly, worried that instead of helping her friend she had made things worse. She had to say something, something to make it better.

_I don't date guys because I soon as I met you I stopped caring about dating? Stopped caring about guys? Stopped caring about anything but spending time with you?_

She couldn't say that. Digging deep, she came up with a response to smooth things over. Sometimes her interviewing skills actually came in handy.

"Hey, I'm sorry. It's just . . . not easy to talk about, I guess." Maura visibly relaxed at Jane's admission, and the tension between them seemed to dissipate.

Jane continued as they both settled comfortably against each other again. "I know I act funny around men—I have kind of an aggressive personality and I know men don't really like that much. So I don't feel like I can really be myself, and I'm sure I come across as, I don't know—awkward."

Maura was silent for a minute. "I don't think you should be afraid of being yourself with other people, Jane. But I understand how you feel. I have to tone down the science talk all the time and then I end up acting awkward."

"What? Who asks you to tone down the science talk, Miss Wikipedia?" Jane chuckled, and Maura joined her.

Encouraged, Jane continued. "I know I tease you about the science stuff, Maura, but I like it when you get excited about science, and even fashion. That's what makes you, _you_."

Maura looked at her and smiled; clearly happy with the compliment. Jane felt her cheeks go red. She looked away, hoping Maura wouldn't notice.

But apparently she did. Placing her hand over Jane's, she said, "And I like it when you take charge and go for what you want. And I wish you wouldn't be afraid to show that side of yourself when it comes to your love life."

Maura looked Jane in the eye and smiled sweetly.

This time, Jane held her gaze, breathless and grinning.

_I wonder if you _would_ like it, Maura Isles. I wonder if you would_.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: The usual disclaimer applies; I own nothing.**

Chapter 3

"Maura," Jane whined, exasperated, "he could be here any minute. Can you please just go already?"

Maura glanced at her watch. "It's only five to seven—someone's a little excited, I see." Maura smirked, and continued straightening the table linens. Indeed, Jane looked incredibly jumpy, twirling a strand of hair with her fingers.

"Maura, come on! Think about how embarrassing it would be if I was hanging around when one of your dates showed up!" Now it was Jane's turn to smirk, as she watched Maura pause to think about that scenario.

"Hmm," mused the doctor, "you're right. That would be rather uncomfortable." The two women shared a mischievous smile, before Maura continued. "You're the one who asked me to come over and help you get ready for this date, remember? And you've done nothing but complain ever since I got here." Maura pretended to look offended, but the smile turning up the corner of her mouth said that as usual she was enjoying the banter between her and Jane.

"What?" Jane pretended to look even more offended, but also couldn't stop herself from smiling. "I haven't complained _that_ much. I like all the food you picked out."

Maura narrowed her eyes. "The food is take-out from Minotti's—you can't go wrong with the best Italian food in the city. And the amount of work it took to get you to agree to that skirt—which looks lovely on you by the way—more than makes up for your lack of complaint about the food, don't you think?" Maura tilted her head innocently and looked at Jane expectantly.

Jane tugged at the bottom of the skirt self-consciously at Maura's compliment and tried not to look too pleased. "Yeah, whatever. These heels are ridiculous though—I don't think I'm going to make a good impression when I fall off them onto my ass when I get up to serve dessert."

Maura chuckled at the thought before responding, "Men love to look at women's legs in heels though. I can guarantee your date won't be able to keep his eyes off of them."

Jane snorted and muttered, "I guess we'll see," while she wiped off the counter and tried to avoid Maura's eyes. A secret smile played on her lips, but she didn't let Maura catch it.

Finally finished setting the table, Maura glanced around the room for something else to do and then asked, "You'll call me tonight and tell me how it goes, right? I mean, unless you are otherwise occupied . . ." She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Jane immediately caught the implication. "Maura! I'm not going to sleep with the guy on the first date!"

Maura shrugged. "Well, since I don't know who this man is I wasn't sure what your plans were. I wish you would just tell me, Jane. You said I've never met him before, so why does it matter?"

"Oh no, Dr. Isles, you aren't going to get it out of me now. It's _one minute_ before seven," Jane whined, "are you _ever_ going to leave or do I have to throw you out?"

"I'm going, I'm going." Maura quickly walked over to Jane and placed a hand on her forearm.

"Remember to be yourself, Jane," Maura said carefully, looking her in the eye. "And if he doesn't like you for who you are, that's just tough crackers for him."

Jane's eyes widened. "Really, Maura? 'Tough crackers?' I think you mean 'tough beans,' and no one's used that expression since my grandmother died in 1982."

Maura shrugged and reached for her purse. "Well, whatever. Just be yourself and have fun." She smiled and walked toward the front door. "And stop yanking on your skirt!"

Jane quickly crossed her arms in front of her. "What! I still think it's too short," she muttered under her breath.

When Maura closed the door behind her Jane stood stock still for a moment, listening for the sound of Maura's heels to fade away as she walked down the hallway. When all was quiet, she grabbed her phone off the counter and moved quickly—and awkwardly, tiptoeing in her heels—to the window. Peering through the blinds, within moments she saw Maura exit the front door of the building. It was at that point that she opened her phone and with shaking fingers dialed Maura's number.

The phone rang three times; Jane imagined Maura stopping on the sidewalk and rummaging through her purse for the phone, then furrowing her brow when she saw who was calling.

"Yes, Jane? Did you forget something?"

"Yeah, can you come back up here for a minute?" Jane had rehearsed this moment in her head a hundred times, but she still found herself trembling.

"If it's about the skirt, no, I don't think you should change it." Through the phone Jane heard a beeping sound as Maura unlocked her car.

"It's not about the skirt—please just come back, okay?" Jane didn't wait for an answer and to keep Maura from asking any more questions she hung up the phone, wincing because she knew Maura would find that awfully rude. There was no time for remorse though—the scariest part of her plan was next and she couldn't afford to hesitate and chicken out.

Tossing her phone on the counter, she rushed to the hallway closet where she had hidden a small bouquet of flowers. Smoothing out the paper they were wrapped in, she carried them back to the front door and squinted through the peephole. Before Maura had the chance to knock, Jane opened the door, wondering if she was going to be able to talk considering her heart had just leapt into her throat.

The rapid change of expression on Maura's face when she saw Jane standing in the doorway in front of her—from amusement to confusion and back to amusement again—as she tried to figure out what was going on, was adorable. It gave Jane just the shot of confidence she needed, and a grin spread across her face.

"Surprise!"

"Jane, I don't—" Maura looked from the flowers to Jane and back to the flowers again.

"Here—these are for you." Jane held out the bouquet until Maura took it from her, smiling but still confused. "I know you like star lilies," added Jane, as she gently took Maura by the arm and led her into the apartment, closing the front door behind them.

"I do, they're lovely, but—I don't understand. Why are you doing this? What about your date?"

"_You_ are my date, Maura. That's the surprise." Jane smiled awkwardly. Everything hinged on what happened next and she hoped she wouldn't screw it up. When she had first planned this moment out in her head it had seemed so much more romantic; the reality was she was she was just standing in her own living room baring her heart to her best friend and she could feel her heart pounding all the way down to the soles of her feet.

Shifting awkwardly on her heels, she pulled her arms close to her body, feeling her stomach clench with nerves. Somehow, she remembered what she was supposed to say next. "Remember when you said I should be more aggressive when it comes to dating? Well, I realized that the only person I really wanted to date was, well . . . you." Jane let out a long breath, and her eyes darted nervously around the room before she forced herself to catch Maura's gaze again and smile.

Maura smiled back, shyly. She still looked hesitant, and unsure of what to do or say, but the smile and the sparkle in her eye told Jane everything she needed to know. Maura wasn't shocked or disgusted or annoyed—she looked _happy_. And in that instant she remembered why she was putting herself through this—the chance to make this woman happy. Feeling herself relax, she stepped forward and gently stroked Maura's cheek.

"Jane . . ." Maura's eyes fluttered closed, and she leaned into Jane's touch for the briefest of moments. "But, this isn't—I didn't mean _me_—" Maura's voice was unsteady.

"I know, Maura," interjected Jane quickly, "I know this isn't what you expected, but can't you just consider it? Please?" She smoothed Maura's hair and then trailed her hand slowly down Maura's arm, gratified to see her fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. "I think we could be really good together," she whispered as she took Maura's hand.

Maura blushed and looked down at their hands. Jane laced their fingers tightly, but her eyes never left Maura's face. The heat between the two women rose as they leaned close together, almost touching but not quite. Without looking up, Maura responded in a whisper, "I think we could be good together too, but—but what about our friendship? And we work together, Jane. What if—"

"Nothing has to change unless it feels right, Maura," Jane interrupted hastily. "Can't we just have this one date, and see how it goes? I promise if you change your mind we can just drop it and go back to being friends again." Jane knew it was a flimsy promise—one that was almost impossible to keep—but she couldn't think of anything else to say and she couldn't let Maura talk herself out of this. Putting on her biggest, most manipulative grin, she pleaded, "Please, Maura, just one date?" Then she tilted her head coquettishly and batted her eyelashes with obvious exaggeration.

Maura giggled, and relented. "Okay, one date," she said firmly. "And since I planned the menu," she added, "I know that the chicken is probably getting cold so we should eat."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: The usual disclaimer applies; I own nothing.**

Chapter 4

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Jane; I enjoyed that very much," said Maura, before reaching across the table and squeezing Jane's fingers. The two women smiled at each other for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. "Did you have a plan for the rest of the evening, or are we just going to play it by ear?"

Jane was pleased with the way their first date was going—very pleased. And there was still more to come. Much more—she hoped.

"I have another surprise for you. Do you want to go sit on the couch while I get it?" Jane stood up, reluctantly letting go of Maura's hand.

"Ooh, I like surprises," Maura's eyes sparkled as her smile grew wider. She stood too, and started clearing the plates before Jane stopped her.

"No, you planned the menu and set the table for your own surprise date—I'll do the dishes later. Just go sit, okay?" Jane gestured toward the couch and Maura acquiesced. After disappearing to her bedroom for a brief moment, she sat next to Maura on the couch and handed her a photo album.

Maura looked at Jane questioningly. "Is this what I think it is?" She opened the album to the first page, revealing photos of a chubby baby girl with a mass of dark hair. "Your baby pictures? Jane, I've been begging for months to see these!"

"I know," said Jane, "and you'd better not tell any of the guys at work about this. I can't have my reputation as a badass tarnished."

Maura hardly heard what Jane said; she was already busily poring over the pictures. "Oh, Jane, no wonder you hate pink! Did your mother ever dress you in any other color?"

Jane groaned, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. "I know, right? I'm pretty sure there are a couple of awful yellow outfits coming up . . . she didn't let me pick out my own clothes until I was about nine so pretty much everything before that was horribly girly."

"But you were adorable, Jane, really." Maura continued to ooh and aah over the album for nearly an hour, asking questions about each picture and listening to Jane's stories about her childhood. The conversation between them was easy and lighthearted, but Jane didn't forget that this was still a date. Every time Maura's hand touched hers, each time she felt Maura's hair brush her shoulder—she wanted more. She wondered if Maura felt the same, but couldn't bring herself to make a move.

Luckily, Maura did it for her.

"You know, Jane, if I had known that you had planned this date for _me_, I wouldn't have made you wear that skirt," remarked Maura, as she watched Jane cross her legs and then unconsciously yank on the offending article of clothing after placing the photo album on the coffee table.

"What?" Jane blinked rapidly as she turned toward Maura, mouth dropped open in surprise. "You are _always_ trying to get me to wear skirts and heels! You said they would make my legs look fabulous!"

"Oh, they do make your legs look fabulous, there's no question about that. I do very much enjoy looking at your legs, and—" Maura leaned closer, and gently ran her fingers across Jane's left leg, resting her hand on her knee while lightly caressing her thigh with her thumb, "touching them is even better."

Instantly, Jane forgot about the skirt and nearly everything else as she tried not to moan out loud at Maura's touch. _Finally_, was her only coherent thought. She closed her eyes involuntarily, holding her breath. Maura's fingers were warm and soft on her knee, and the sensation sent shivers through her entire body.

"Jane," said Maura softly, bringing her out of her reverie.

Jane opened her eyes and smiled lazily. "Hmm?"

"All I meant was, I know _men_ like to see women in dresses. But I think you're sexy in the clothes you are most comfortable in—your work clothes, jeans, t-shirts . . ." Maura's voice trailed off as she felt Jane's eyes boring into her, dark with desire.

"Really?" Jane's voice caught, so she cleared her throat and then asked, shyly, "You think I'm sexy?"

Maura nodded, and reached out to touch Jane's cheek. "Very sexy," she whispered.

Jane dipped her head; the two women were so close their foreheads were almost touching. The heat between them was intense; Jane felt every nerve she had tingling. She asked, "Why didn't you ever say anything?" Her hand tangled in Maura's hair, drawing the strands of liquid gold through her fingers.

When Maura responded, Jane felt the words on her cheek and another wave of shivers passed through her and her pulse pounded. "For the same reason you never said anything, I would imagine."

"Because you were terrified?" Quipped Jane, a smile playing across her lips.

"Just a little," Maura murmured, before dipping her head and placing her lips to Jane's neck.

Running her hand up Maura's arm and then pulling her close, Jane's smile was replaced with a look of pure ecstasy as Maura sucked gently. "Oh, Maura . . . god, that feels so good," she groaned, as Maura's lips trailed up her neck to her jaw. Her breathing labored, she asked, "Are you still terrified?"

Maura pulled back then, and immediately Jane took her face in her hands, pushing her hair behind her ears and then caressing her cheeks. "A little," she whispered, "but I don't care."

"Me neither," growled Jane, and then, finally, their lips met. Their mouths moved against each other slowly, sweetly, gently.

Then the surprise registered.

_I'm kissing my best friend. I'm kissing _Maura. _And it's extraordinary._

Jane heard herself moan faintly, and she opened her mouth to let Maura's tongue slip inside, hot and soft and strong. She felt herself sinking into the feeling, the feeling that she couldn't describe if her life depended on it.

Jane felt like she was drowning—drowning in the incredible softness that was Maura Isles. This was undoubtedly the most sensual kiss she had every shared with another human being. Maura seemed to approach the task methodically, like she did everything else—bent on exploring everything Jane's mouth and lips had to offer.

And Jane let her. She let Maura take the lead, let her run her tongue along the inside of her top lip, let her bite gently on her bottom lip, and then let her suck her entire tongue into her own mouth before finally letting it go with a breathy wet pop.

"Oh, Jane, I . . ." Maura ran the back of her hand across her mouth, looking somewhat embarrassed by her eagerness, but Jane quelled any hesitation by immediately grabbing her wrist and pulling it away from her mouth before kissing her again. She let her hands roam too, while she assaulted Maura's mouth; her hands grazed the sides of Maura's breasts, causing a moan to escape from both women, and then she gripped Maura's hips and in a surprisingly fluid movement pulled the doctor into her lap.

The want and need that Jane felt as Maura once again buried her face in her neck, taking soft skin between her teeth and sucking—sucking so hard she felt the most exquisite pain she'd ever felt in her life—was so strong she felt it might explode out of her chest. "Maura," she moaned, "you're amazing . . . I feel—I can't believe this is happening . . ."

Maura interrupted before Jane could finish. "I know, Jane, me too," she panted, before placing such soft kisses along her collarbone that Jane squirmed with desire. Jane pulled Maura's body closer, as close as she possibly could, stroking her back and her hair, running her fingernails up and down her arms until the sensations overwhelmed Maura and she stilled her mouth, resting her head against Jane's shoulder, inhaling the scent of the perfume she herself had picked out.

The initial frenzy calmed, the two women just held each other as their breathing evened out and slowed.

"Jane, can I ask you a question?" Maura spoke quietly, raising her head slightly away from Jane's shoulder.

"Of course, sweetie," replied Jane huskily.

"Oh," sighed Maura, her hands gripping Jane's neck a little tighter, "Your _voice_, Jane. You have no idea what it does to me. And I love it when you call me 'sweetie.'"

"And I love calling you 'sweetie,' sweetie," cooed Jane. "But what's your question?"

Maura's voice was small and quiet when she responded. "Do you think I'm sexy too?"

Jane laughed softly. "Did that little make-out session not answer that question for you? Yes, of course I think you're sexy. Some days all I can think about is how sexy you are, sashaying around in your cute little dresses and showing off your cleavage."

"I do not show off my cleavage," insisted Maura, while hiding her smirk by tilting her head into Jane's neck again.

"Oh yes you do, and you know it. Not that I mind or anything," said Jane in a low voice, and she moved her hand to once again graze the side of Maura's breast. "You have lovely cleavage, sweetie," she murmured softly.

"Tell me, Jane."

"Tell you what—more about your cleavage?"

"No, and stop saying 'cleavage.' Say 'breasts.'"

"Okay, you have lovely breasts," smirked Jane, "is that what you wanted me to say?"

Maura squirmed in Jane's arms and they both shifted so that they could look at each other. Resting their heads on the back of the couch, they let their legs tangle together and Maura once again reached up to stroke Jane's cheek. "Tell me what you thought . . . about me." Lowering her voice to a whisper, Maura continued, "what you thought about doing . . . _with_ me."

Jane swallowed, and then smiled. "I thought a lot about _this_, actually. Just, _this_, sitting and holding each other, talking, touching." Jane's fingers found their way into Maura's soft curls again. "So many times I've had to stop myself from staring at you, or from touching you. I mostly just thought about being able to touch you whenever I felt like it. I thought about going to sleep with you, waking up with you—just being _with_ you, without being afraid or ashamed, or feeling creepy for having a crush on my best friend."

Maura smiled, and then smirked. "Who knew you were such a romantic, Jane Rizzoli," she teased. "And a cuddler, too!" she exclaimed softly, running her hand along Jane's side to her hip, pulling her just a bit closer and staring into her eyes.

Jane looked slightly embarrassed, but she smiled anyway. "Well, don't tell anyone, or I might just have to mention the things you just did with your tongue . . ."

"Jane!" Maura blushed, and laughed. Then, her voice was soft again. "I've thought about all of those things too—and some other things as well."

Jane raised her eyebrows. "Oh yeah? Care to share, Dr. Isles?"

Maura sat up, and once again straddled Jane's lap, tossing her hair back over her shoulder. She tugged at the bottom of Jane's blouse. "Lift up your arms," she whispered firmly. When Jane complied, she pulled the shirt off, threw it over the arm of the couch and then just sat back and looked.

"You have the most perfect torso I've ever seen," Maura said, simply, "and I might have thought about just _looking_ at it, at one time or another."

"You can touch me, too, Maura," husked Jane, the desire evident in her voice. Maura first ran the backs of her fingers lightly down Jane's chest until she reached the hollow between her breasts. Then she used both hands—palms, fingers—to explore Jane's abdomen, kneading her thumbs into skin and muscle. Just using her hands wasn't enough though—gripping Jane's hips, she began to blaze another trail of kisses and nips until her face was buried between soft breasts and Jane was writhing beneath her.

Maura was reaching around to unhook Jane's bra—and Jane was arching her back to let Maura do it—when Jane's phone buzzed on the counter. "I have to see who that is," groaned the detective, "I'm on call tonight."

Maura climbed awkwardly out of Jane's lap. When she reached the counter and checked the phone, Jane groaned again.

"Hey, Frost," she said brusquely, mouthing the word 'sorry' to Maura, who looked at her and sighed.

Jane listened for several moments, chewing her lip. "Text me the address, and I'll be there as soon as I can."

Frost said something else, causing Jane to glance at Maura, who was still sitting on the couch. "Maura? I—" Jane paused for the briefest of moments. "I don't know where Maura is tonight, but I'll call her and tell her to meet us at the scene." Jane's eyes flickered away from Maura's, and she ran her free hand through her hair. "Yeah, okay. Thanks, Frost." Jane hung up the phone.

Suddenly realizing that she was standing in the kitchen wearing only her bra, Jane self-consciously crossed her arms in front of her stomach after she put the phone back on the counter.

"We've got a case—looks like a pretty straightforward suicide but I guess we have to work tonight." She sighed, still avoiding Maura's eyes. "I'll go change, okay?"

Maura nodded, her eyes suddenly sad. "Um, Jane? Don't wear one of your low cut t-shirts," Maura called out, causing Jane to turn around abruptly.

"Okay . . . why?"

Maura looked embarrassed, and she put her hand over her chest. "I might have . . . I was a little overzealous, earlier." She blushed, and Jane looked down at her own chest to see a number of bite marks on her skin.

Jane laughed. "Yeah, I guess you were," she said, running her fingers over the marks. "So worth it, Maura. So very worth it," she repeated with a grin, disappearing down the hall.

When she returned a few moments later, Jane took one look at Maura, who was standing by the door with her purse on her arm, and knew something was wrong.

Maura had a particular look on her face, and it took Jane only a split second to realize what it was—it was the look Maura got when she was trying to figure out how to lie.

"Maura, what's wrong?" Jane crossed the room quickly. "Are you mad about what I said to Frost? I'm not embarrassed about our date or anything, I just figured we should talk about things before I outed us to everyone . . . please don't be upset."

"No, that's not it. I just—" Maura paused, wrinkling her brow with concern. "I came over here tonight to help you get ready for a date, and somehow that turned into . . . _this_," she sputtered, uncharacteristically inarticulate. She looked flustered for a few seconds, but then abruptly set her jaw and changed her tone.

"It's just happening so fast, Jane. A relationship between co-workers can be very complicated, and I think we should slow down a little. We need to think about this and not just go rushing into anything."

Instantly, Jane felt a stab of panic. Panic which turned to fear of rejection and pain—pain that had to be covered up. She had bared enough of her soul to Maura today. She couldn't plead with Maura to give her a chance—not when they had a crime scene to get to, and not when Maura was standing there looking so—so resolute. So she did her best to look unconcerned. Nonchalant.

"Sure, Maura. I guess I shouldn't have let things go so far tonight. I just wanted to give it a shot." Jane shrugged, swallowing the lump she felt in her throat. "I hope you had a good time, anyway."

Maura squeezed Jane's arm. "I had a lovely time. And I'm not saying we shouldn't—but let's just see how things go, okay?"

"Yeah, we don't have to decide anything right now." Jane picked up her keys and made a move toward the door. "C'mon, we've got to get going, Frost's waiting. We should probably take separate cars?"

"Yes, it looks like it's going to be a late night," said Maura. "A late night indeed."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: The usual disclaimer applies; I own nothing.**

**Please note the rating change to M.**

Chapter 5

When it came to her job, Jane Rizzoli trusted her gut. When she had a feeling about a suspect, she kept digging until she figured out what that feeling was all about. And, most of the time, she was right.

So, when her first date with Maura ended abruptly and then she didn't hear from her friend for an entire day and a half afterward, Jane decided to go with her gut and leave it alone. Something told her to just watch and wait until further evidence about Maura's feelings presented itself.

When Maura did finally call her, she acted completely normally. For nearly two weeks Jane and Maura went about their daily routines as if nothing had happened. On the surface, they behaved like they always had toward each other. They regularly ate meals together, they worked cases together, they watched television together on Maura's couch while Jane's mother cooked and nagged.

Through it all, Jane studied Maura's behavior as if she were a suspect in a homicide. And she learned a lot. With theories swirling around in her head, she kept watching and waiting.

It was Tommy that helped her put all of the pieces together. Tommy, and then a phone call from Doyle. The look on Maura's face after she told Jane to hang up on her biological father told Jane everything she needed to know.

So with the case wrapped up and the chessboard put away, Jane decided it was time to get a confession out of her suspect.

"Ma, I need to talk to Maura," said Jane, the instant Maura disappeared down the hallway, presumably heading for the bathroom.

Angela didn't look up, but responded, "Go ahead, I'm not stopping you."

"Ma!" Jane rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. "Alone, Ma. I need to talk to Maura _alone_. So will you _please_ _leave_. You too, Tommy. I swear, you guys are here _all the time_."

Tommy snorted. "_You're_ the one who's here all the time, Janey."

"Yeah, well that's because she _invites_ me here—I'm not just tagging along with my big sister," retorted Jane, making a face at her brother.

"Be nice, Jane," interjected Angela, giving her daughter a look. "But Jane's right, we don't want to overstay our welcome. Come on Tommy, you can watch TV in the guest house."

By the time Maura returned from the bathroom, Angela and Tommy were gone and Jane was sitting at the kitchen table. "Come and sit down for a minute, Maura," she said as soon as the doctor entered the room.

"Just a minute, I want to finish up these dishes," said Maura. "Where did everyone go? I thought there was a game on?"

"I sent them to the guest house, because we need to have a talk," said Jane. She pointed at the chair across from her. "Now come and sit down—the dishes can wait."

"Oh. Okay," said Maura warily. She sat across from Jane and pursed her lips. "What's this all about?"

For a brief moment Jane just looked at her friend. Then, leaning back in her chair, she asked, "Why have you been flirting with my brother all week?"

Maura rolled her eyes. "Not this again—I told you, I don't want to sleep with your brother. I was just having fun playing chess with him." Maura's tone was playful and nonchalant.

Jane crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I know you don't want to sleep with him, but you were flirting with him. Admit it," she smirked.

"I will do no such thing, Jane Rizzoli." Mirroring Jane's pose, Maura leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Now what is this all about?" There was just the slightest hint of annoyance in her voice.

"I know that you have no interest in Tommy. He's about a decade too young for you, the two of you have nothing in common except chess, and he just got out of _prison_, Maura. So why were you flirting with him?" Jane gave Maura her best cop stare across the table.

Maura didn't seem rattled in the least, however. "Since when is it your business who I flirt with?" She stared right back at Jane, but couldn't stop the tiny hint of a smile from playing at the corners of her mouth.

Jane changed tactics. She didn't want this to turn into one of their light-hearted, flirty chats that never went anywhere. Lowering her voice, she pressed further. "You know, I don't need you to answer. Because I already _know_." Jane thumped her fist on the table to emphasize her point. "At first I thought you were doing it to make me jealous. But that didn't make any sense, because there would be no advantage in that for you. You don't need to make me jealous because you know as well as I do that you already have me wrapped around your little finger. You know I'm crazy about you, Maura." Jane resisted the urge to succumb to embarrassment and look away; instead, she maintained her steady gaze.

Maura looked stunned. She hadn't expected this—such honesty from Jane about her feelings.

Jane continued, hardly stopping to breathe. "You've been flirting with Tommy because he's safe. You're flirting with him for the same reason that you dated Brock, and Sluckey, and Giovanni—if you can call that dating."

Jane paused to let out a short laugh, which gave Maura the chance to cut in. "And what reason would that be, Jane? Since you seem to have everything figured out," she added, with no trace of the playfulness that had characterized the beginning of the conversation. Her features had hardened considerably.

"Because they're _safe_. You know they aren't type of men that you'll ever have a serious relationship with. So they can't hurt you." Jane leaned forward, speaking softly, confidentially. "They can't hurt you like Ian did."

For a brief second Jane saw Maura's eyes glisten with moisture, but then the doctor lowered her lashes and looked down at her hands, carefully folded in her lap.

Jane steeled herself in case there were tears. She hated it when Maura cried, but she had to finish this. _It's now or never_. "Remember when you asked me why I wasn't more aggressive when it came to dating? Remember that?"

Maura looked up, her features hard again. There were no signs of tears, but she didn't speak; she just nodded curtly.

"Well, if you can ask me about my love life, can I ask you a question about yours?"

"I suppose that's only fair," responded Maura reluctantly, looking down at her lap again.

"Okay," continued Jane, taking a deep breath. "Then what I want to know is this—why do you let a guy like Ian hurt you? And then you still say that this guy—the guy who shows up and then leaves you over and over again—is the love of your life? Why do you let him do this to you? You deserve to be treated so much better than that."

Maura stood abruptly, and turned her back on Jane. Walking to the kitchen sink, she started working on the dinner dishes again. Over the sound of the running water, Jane heard her say, "I don't want to talk about this, Jane."

"Oh no, I'm not letting you off that easily, Maura. We are going to talk about this—after what happened the other night . . . between us, I mean . . . you owe me that."

Maura turned off the water but didn't turn around. The tension between the two women was palpable, despite the fact that they were no longer in close physical proximity to each other.

When Maura remained silent, Jane decided to take that as a sign to continue. "After the other night—after our date—when you just pretended like nothing happened I thought that was it. I thought you just weren't interested. But then I watched you, and I realized that you were watching _me_. I watched your breath get short when I stood close to you. I watched you try not to touch me. And you couldn't do it. You couldn't do it any more than I could."

Jane stood up from the table and moved toward the island in the middle of the kitchen. Maura still had her back to her, but she was completely still, the dishes abandoned yet again.

"Flirting with Tommy was your way of coping with your feelings for me. He was _safe_. But this time, you weren't remembering what happened with Ian and worrying about that. You were worrying about _me_ hurting you." Jane's voice nearly broke with emotion, but she quickly recovered.

"Then Doyle called. You didn't like it that he called _me_, and told _me_ to take care of you. You don't think anyone should have to take care of you. And you hate it that this man who barely knows you can see how much you care about me, and how much I care about you. That he can see what you won't see."

Suddenly, Maura found her voice, as she finally turned from the sink to face Jane. "And what's that Jane? What won't I see?" She practically spat the words out.

Jane sighed. "That we belong together, Maura." She smiled, almost wistfully, and watched Maura's features soften along with her own. "That I love you. That I love you and will never hurt you. _Never_."

Jane took a deep breath before she continued, her voice strong and deep. "Because _you_ are the love of _my _life, Maura. _You are the love of my life_."

For a brief moment, the two women just stared at each other. Then Jane's expression cracked, and Maura saw it. She saw the raw emotion there, and the effort that it had taken for Jane to keep pushing her, and to admit her feelings so openly. In that moment her heart melted and the dam broke. Jane was so right-so right about everything.

Stepping around the counter, Maura was immediately in Jane's arms. "Oh, Jane, Jane, I—" Maura took Jane's face in her hands and stared into her eyes. She couldn't get enough—enough of just looking at this woman that she loved. Jane stared back at her, waiting for relief, for confirmation that she had done the right thing. She looked so vulnerable, Maura had to set her mind at ease. Whispering against Jane's lips, she finally said it. "I love you too, Jane—so, so much. I'm sorry—"

Jane's fierce kiss cut her off. Maura returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm and instantly their heightened emotions turned to passion. Jane felt the fire in her belly grow as Maura's hands gripped her hips and pulled her close. Their tongues danced while hot hands roamed; somehow, Jane found the strength to lift Maura onto the kitchen counter without ever breaking their kiss. When Maura wrapped her legs around Jane's hips Jane heard herself groan out loud, in a voice she had never heard coming from her own throat before.

"Maura, I want you _so bad_. Please, Maura. _Please_."

Maura took in a sharp breath at Jane's tone, as she felt herself grow instantly wet. Through hooded eyes she whispered back, "I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you right now, Jane. I want you so badly it _hurts_."

Jane groaned again, "Bedroom," was all she could say. Shedding clothing as they went, the two women made their way down the hallway and into Maura's room. They fumbled in the dark; the light from the hallway was soon causing bare skin to shimmer in its glow.

Even before Jane could wriggle out of her pants Maura had her bra off and was sucking her nipples. "I've wanted to do this for so long, Jane, you don't even know," Maura whispered against Jane's breast. She pulled a nipple into her mouth, laving it with her tongue.

"Oh, I think I have some idea," rasped Jane, her voice thick. "Please, Maura," she begged again, marveling at how needy she'd become. "I can't stand up if you're going to do that to me . . ."

Maura released the nipple with a pop. Distracted by Jane's long, smooth torso, she bent and placed a few kisses there before finally pushing Jane back onto the bed. Standing between her knees, she yanked Jane's pants and underwear down in one quick movement. Within moments her own bra and underwear were removed and finally their bare skin met—everywhere.

Maura slid on top of Jane, straddling her hips. Barely conscious of what she was doing, she ground their centers together until Jane cried out.

"Maura! So good, don't stop!" Maura continued, leaning forward with her hands on either side of Jane's head, rhythmically moving her hips. They kissed, again—again and again and again.

Jane found herself begging once more—this time for release. "Please Maura, oh!" She cried out, as her orgasm quickly built. Maura suddenly stopped, and Jane's eyes flew open, tortured.

"Jane, I don't know how—what—I've never done this before," she gasped, before beginning to move her hips again.

"Whatever you're doing feels wonderful, Maura. Just do what you feel like, I promise it's working." Jane's eyes closed again, as Maura reestablished her rhythm.

"I feel—I feel like—I feel like I want to _fuck_ you, Jane," growled Maura through gritted teeth. Jane's eyes snapped open again; her only response was a frantic nod and several squeals.

"And I want you to watch me. Watch me, Jane."

Jane nodded again, and forced her eyes open as she felt Maura's right hand snake down between their bodies. When Maura thrust into her with her fingers, at the same time as she continued the grinding motion with her hips, Jane cried out again.

"Oh god, Maura! Maura!" She tried to hold back, to prolong her release just a little bit longer, to make the feeling last forever, but then Maura kissed her; with Maura's fingers deep inside her and Maura's tongue in her mouth, she let go.

Release finally washed over her—wave after wave of it. She cried out again and again before finally taking a big gulp of air and letting her limbs relax. Maura stilled her motions and slowly removed her fingers, putting them to her lips and licking them clean. Resting her head on Jane's chest, Maura let Jane's body take her full weight. Jane wrapped her arms around Maura's torso, stroking her hair and the soft skin of her back. Slowly, their breathing returned to normal.

"I love you, Jane."

"I love you too, Maura."

"Promise me you'll never leave me."

Jane hugged Maura tighter. "Never. I'll never leave you, sweetie. Never."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: The usual disclaimer applies; I own nothing.**

Chapter 6

Maura awoke to the memory of Jane's kisses. Still halfway between sleep and wakefulness, she concentrated on the memory—Jane's lips on hers, Jane's smooth, soft tongue in her mouth, Jane's rhythmic sucking at her breast.

Maura felt her skin grow hot as arousal coursed through her yet again. They'd had round after round of passionate, unbelievable sex, but she was still instantly wet at just the thought of Jane's hands on her body. They had slept only intermittently throughout the night, and Maura knew she was going to pay for it later on, but her unparalleled desire for Jane won out over the logical part of her brain again as she turned over and reached out for her best friend and lover.

But her fingers met only air, and then cold sheets. Opening her eyes, she propped herself up on one elbow and found the bed empty. Sitting up fully and wrapping the sheet around her torso, she surveyed the room. Her clothes—the clothes Jane had ripped off of her in her haste to touch as much of Maura's skin as possible—were now draped over a chair.

And Jane's clothes were gone.

"Jane?" She called out in a shaky voice. "Jane? Are you here?"

Panic began settling into her chest as her words echoed unanswered through the empty house. She tried to assure herself that Jane had just gone out for breakfast, or that she had gotten called into work, but her heart was beating rapidly and she found herself hugging her knees rather tightly.

After a few brief moments Maura swung her legs off of the bed and walked to the closet for her robe. Cinching it tight, she wandered through the house looking for signs of Jane. Everything was pretty much as they had left it the night before—she found no note from her friend and there were no messages or texts on her phone.

Maura went back to her bedroom and sat down on the bed, trying to decide what to do. Staring at the phone in her hands, she wondered if she should try to call Jane, or just wait it out. Taking a deep breath, she placed the phone on the nightstand and was just about to get ready for a shower when she heard a noise. Frozen in place, she listened.

Jane's boots in the entryway. Jane kicking off her boots. Jane climbing the stairs.

Maura felt relief wash over her, and in her tired, overly emotional state, she couldn't stop the tears. When Jane walked in, the first thing she saw was Maura covering her face with her hands, shaking with quiet sobs.

"Maura!" Jane exclaimed, "What's wrong?" Quickly, she set the coffees and pastries she had been carrying on the first flat surface she could find and then she threw her arms around the doctor.

Maura buried her face in Jane's neck, still struggling to control her emotions. "It's nothing—nothing, really. These are happy tears," she added, pulling back with a half smile on her tear-stained face.

Jane didn't buy it for a minute. "Really?"

Maura smiled again at Jane's classic incredulous look—the tilted head, the raised eyebrows. She sniffed. "I just—I didn't know where you were, and your clothes were gone, and I'm relieved that you came back."

"Oh, Maura—I'm sorry. I just went to get us something to eat. I would never just leave like that. I figured you were pretty tired, after—you know," Jane smirked and looked almost shy for a brief second, "—and I didn't want to wake you up." Jane hugged Maura tighter, stroking her hair.

"I know, it's fine—I was just a little concerned, and sometimes I can't control my—"

"Lachrymal glands, I know," finished Jane. "I really didn't think you'd be worried, I mean—"

"Wait." Jane cut herself off mid-sentence. "Has someone else left you like this before? The, uh, morning after, I mean?" Jane pulled out of the hug so she could look at Maura's face, which immediately fell. She refused to meet Jane's eyes, but she reluctantly answered.

"Ian always said he didn't like goodbyes."

"That _bastard_," muttered Jane through clenched teeth. "If that guy _ever_ shows his face here again, I'm going to—"

"Jane, please don't," sighed Maura, interrupting in a surprisingly firm tone. "I know there were problems with our . . . relationship. I really don't want to discuss them right now." She reached out and cupped Jane's cheek gently. "Forget about it, it doesn't matter. _You_ are all that matters now."

Jane's anger melted away as Maura looked into her eyes. The tears were gone, and she saw only love. Jane grinned as she felt her heart race. "Mmm, yes," she purred, "can we talk about how amazing last night was?" She let her left hand graze the side of Maura's breast and the doctor shivered at the touch.

"On one condition," Maura said, standing up by the bed with a mischievous look on her face, "that we are both naked for the duration of the conversation." With that she let her robe drop to the floor. Before Jane could do anything other than suck in a sharp breath, Maura had reached for the hem of her t-shirt. Jane let her pull it off, and within seconds they were back in bed, naked bodies pressed close and hands roaming.

"For future reference, Jane," said Maura, "this is the first thing I want to taste in the morning." She bent her head and took an erect nipple into her mouth.

"Oh god, I love it when you do that," moaned Jane, closing her eyes and arching her back.

"What else do you love, Jane? What else can I do for you?"

Jane's eyes snapped open, to catch the predatory look on Maura's face. "Oh _fuck_, Maura, anything. _Everything_."

"That's not very specific, Jane," scolded Maura, "although I do plan to _fuck_ you," she added, before sliding up Jane's body to suck at her pulse point. "I love it when you kiss me here," she murmured, "do you like that too?"

"Yes, Maura, so good," begged Jane.

"And I love it when your hands are on my breasts and your face is between them—do you like that?"

"Ooohhh," groaned Jane, "yes," she called out, running her hands through Maura's hair.

"What else, Jane? What now?" Maura whispered, kissing her way down Jane's torso.

Abruptly, Jane clutched at Maura's shoulders and using her legs, flipped her onto her back. "_This_, Maura. This is what I want. Do you like this?" Jane pinned Maura to the bed and began grinding her hips, breathing heavily. Maura arched her back to meet Jane's touch, and a low groan escaped her throat. Her little game forgotten, Maura begged, "Inside, Jane . . . I want you inside of me."

Jane wasted no time, thrusting two fingers into slick, tight, wetness. Using rhythmic thrusts and pressure from the heel of her hand in just the right spot, she had Maura screaming in no time.

Breathing heavily, Maura drew Jane to her, wincing slightly as Jane pulled her fingers out. "Jane . . ." she moaned, "I've never had so many orgasms in one night—I've lost count!"

"What? The great Dr. Isles has forgotten something? I must be gooooood," Jane drawled, and Maura chuckled. "Five, babe; that was number five." Burying her face in Maura's neck, she whispered with uncharacteristic softness, "And I'll never forget any of them for as long as I live."

Maura felt tears sting her eyes again—but this time they really were happy tears.

* * *

><p>For a day and a half—a blissful day and a half—the only thing Maura had to worry about was what to get Jane for her birthday. All of the gifts she had thought of before—when they were just best friends—just didn't seem quite right. Maura was a bit awkward socially, but she knew that a birthday gift for a girlfriend should be personal, and intimate.<p>

She immediately ordered some lingerie and had it shipped overnight. Some for Jane and some for herself. She hid it away, planning to surprise Jane on her birthday night. The thought of wearing her gift to Jane made her blush more than once.

Then Hoyt reappeared and everything went to hell. She forgot all about the lingerie until she and Jane were finally alone in the detective's apartment when the case was finally over, but Maura thought it was probably inappropriate to suggest a lingerie fashion show just hours after Jane had stabbed Hoyt in the chest with a scalpel.

She'd thought Angela's insistence on holding Jane's "surprise" birthday party that night was inappropriate too, but she'd let it go and just tried to move everything along as quickly as possible. Luckily the guests could see the exhaustion on Jane's face as clearly as they could see her bandages, and they all left mercifully early.

Closing the door behind Angela—of course she would be the last to leave—Maura turned around to find Jane standing still in the kitchen, watching her with an anguished look in her eyes. Maura could hardly get across the room fast enough; she'd been aching to hold Jane's live, warm body against hers for hours.

"Maura," choked Jane through her sobs, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry—it's all my fault."

"Shh, Jane, it isn't your fault. It's no one's fault and he can't ever hurt you again," Maura whispered soothingly into Jane's ear.

Jane kept sobbing for several minutes, while Maura just held her, shedding no small number of tears herself. Then, all at once, Jane drew a ragged breath and seemed to pull herself together. Extricating herself from Maura's embrace, she turned away and headed for the fridge, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

"I need another beer—you want one?" Jane looked at Maura as she waited for her response, but Maura immediately noticed the dead look in her eyes. Maura's heart broke just a little bit more, and she decided not to chastise Jane for drinking too much. She shook her head when Jane held out a bottle toward her though.

Jane leaned against the refrigerator and took a long drink. Then, staring at the bottle in her hands, she finally said, "I made a mistake, Maura."

Maura furrowed her brow. "What mistake? About Hoyt?"

Jane looked up, and her face nearly crumbled into tears again. She stood up straight though, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders. "No—not about Hoyt."

Another deep breath.

"I told you something I shouldn't have, Maura. I made a promise," said Jane hoarsely, her voice breaking, "a promise that I had no right to make."

"Jane—" Maura tried to interrupt, but was cut off.

"I need to say this, okay?" Jane looked at her with sad, pleading eyes and Maura felt her heart sink.

Jane continued after another ragged breath. Her head was pounding, and she rubbed at her temples. "I told you that I would never leave you—but look at the mess I got you in today. A fucking mess." Jane's voice rose with emotion. "I've always known that my job would put me in danger, and I'm okay with that. But I can't let my job hurt you." She looked pleadingly at Maura.

"Don't do this, Jane," whispered Maura; tears were choking her words.

"He _hurt_ you, Maura. He cut you, and tasered you—he almost _raped_ you," growled Jane through clenched teeth. "I can't let these things keep happening to you!"

"It's the job, Jane—it's not you!" exclaimed Maura. "I knew I could be putting myself in danger when I came to work for law enforcement—"

"It's not the same! You came with me to see Hoyt today not as an ME, or even a colleague. You came as my friend. My _girlfriend_. You should never have been there. And I'll never forgive myself for it."

"Jane . . ." Maura twisted her hands together, "you don't need to feel that way."

"Don't tell me how to feel," snapped Jane. Maura was slightly taken aback, but she pressed forward anyway.

"I'm not trying to tell you how to feel, I'm just trying to understand what you're saying," she explained, quietly.

Jane's voice was equally quiet. "I'm saying that I think you should go home now." She looked down at the kitchen floor, blinking back tears. "I can't let things go any further—I can't hurt you like this again. I will not be like Ian and string you along; we just have to end it before things get too . . . serious."

Maura looked at the ceiling, gently rocking back and forth on her heels.

"I think you're wrong, Jane."

"I know," said Jane with a sigh.

"The problem is, things have already been serious between us for a long time. A very long time."

"I know that too. But it has to end sometime." Jane's eyes never left the kitchen floor; Maura's eyes never left Jane.

Maura's voice was steady. "I'm not going to beg you to let me stay."

"I don't expect you to."

"Well. Then I guess we're done here."

"I guess so."

Maura turned on her heel and walked to the front door, picking up her purse from the desk in the hallway.

"Goodbye, Jane," said Maura as she opened the door.

"I'm sorry, Maura." Jane finally raised her head and their eyes met. Maura tilted her head and narrowed her eyes; she opened her mouth to say something but then changed her mind. Turning away from Jane, she walked into the hallway and closed the door behind her with a quiet click.

Jane slid down the refrigerator to the floor and buried her face in her hands.

Just like that, it was over.


End file.
